Why Do We Women Relax After Marriage?
Ok, I’m going to say it. South African women — some, not all — we need to talk 👀. I’m not dragging anyone, but if the wig fits, hey, maybe it’s time to brush it 💁🏾♀️.
Let me start with a soft disclaimer before you grab your cooking spoon like a weapon 🍲⚔️: I’m not saying every woman must wear makeup and lashes that can create a hurricane when she blinks. I’m definitely not that woman. I’m natural and beautiful 😌 (yes, allow me to say that without blowing my own way too much 😅). But let’s be honest — something strange happens when a ring lands on that finger 💍. Women transform... and not always in a good way.
I’ve seen it. You’ve seen it. Your neighbor’s cousin’s sister’s friend is probably doing it right now 🤷🏾♀️. Before the wedding, the woman is clean, stylish, neat — she looks like she was sent by Beyoncé to teach us what self-care means 👑. But after two years? Yoh! The same woman is walking around the house with stockings on her head like it’s a fashion statement from a rural Paris runway 🤦🏾♀️. Suddenly, Colormine is her nightly skincare routine, and her husband goes to bed with a woman of caramel complexion but wakes up next to Casper the Friendly Ghost 👻. That man probably prays with one eye open now 😳.
And don’t get me started on the Nceka 🧣. The beautiful dresses, the fitted jeans, the nice T-shirts? Replaced by traditional wraps, old gowns with a broken belt, and slippers that saw the struggle of 1994 🩴💔. Sis, I say this with love — we didn’t fight apartheid for you to look like you’re still in it 😭.
The worst part is, many women start using that line: "But he already knows how I look like when I’ve bathed." 🛁 Yes, we know, but must he now suffer daily? 😩 This poor man went from ‘Wow, she’s stunning’ to ‘Yoh, where’s the woman I married?’ He didn’t say "I do" just to say "What happened?" 😬
Marriage is not a resting station, ladies 🛑. It’s not where effort goes to die. If you wanted to keep him before marriage, why stop trying now? Do you think just because the ring is on your finger, all other women disappeared into thin air? No! They’re still out there, dressed to kill — or at least to confuse 💃🏽.
Let’s be real. We say men change after marriage — and many do — but we hardly talk about how women also switch up 🔄. Not just emotionally, but visually. And it’s not about vanity. It’s about effort. It’s about not completely abandoning the version of yourself that he fell in love with ❤️. It’s about reminding him that yes, you are still the prize, even after signing the marriage certificate 🎯.
We joke a lot, but I’ve heard it from men and even other women — many South African women tend to relax once the deal is sealed 🛋️. It’s like the wedding was the end goal, not the beginning of a journey 🛣️. Marriage isn’t the finish line. It’s more like the start of the race — the one where you’re now a team 🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽♂️.
So, no, you don’t have to wear heels in the kitchen or do your brows before making pap 👠🍽️. But please, let’s not go from “Wow” to “Yoh” in just 24 months. Bring back that cute doek 💗. Swap the nceka for something that says “I still got it” ✨. Even a simple fresh face and clean outfit can go a long way 🧼👗.
Let’s stay winning 🏆. Let’s keep the vibe 🔥. And for the love of all things holy, retire the Colormine before bedtime — or at least warn the poor man first 🙏🏾😂.
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