Play or Perish
Marriage is beautiful… until you discover that your definition of “fun” is your husband’s definition of “attempted murder.” Some men are gentle darlings, lovers of romantic mischief. They’ll toss a pillow softly on your head, splash a little water on your hair while you swim, or even play a silly boxing match with hands lighter than feathers. They laugh when you laugh, and their play feels like love in motion.
But then there are the raw men. The ones who think games are for children, and the moment you try to spark some playful romance, you realize you might have signed up for a lifetime of self-defense. Try a pillow fight? You’ll end up with a fractured shoulder from a continental pillow launched with the strength of a thousand ancestors. Suggest a water fight at the pool? You’ll be halfway to heaven while he’s holding you under, convinced this is a Navy SEAL exercise. Attempt to playfully smack his arm? He’ll return the favor so hard you’ll be scrolling Google with one hand, searching “how to know if your arm is broken.”
And it doesn’t end there. Imagine tug-of-war with the bedsheet—only to find yourself sleeping without a blanket because he yanked it like a pro wrestler. Try playful hide and seek in the house—he’ll never bother looking for you, and you’ll still be crouching behind the curtains at midnight, regretting your life choices. Even a tickle fight can go south quickly. With the wrong man, it’s not giggles—it’s gasping for oxygen as you silently beg the Lord to take the wheel.
So, dear playful soul, hear this warning: get to know your man before you get hitched. Not his favorite color, not his shoe size, not even his love language. No, no. Find out if he can play. Because if you’re a bubbly woman who loves laughter and games, marrying the wrong man might just mean your obituary will read, “She died of pillow-related injuries.”
Play safe—or perish trying.
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